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California to Ratify Bill to Make German its New Official Language

Written By Bradley J. Berger on Monday, March 25, 2013 | 11:07 AM

Sacramento, CA- Democratic California Governor Jerry Brown gave a speech in support of a bill that that will make German the state’s official language.  The proposal comes in response to pressure from lobbyist groups that have argued that immigrants should be required learn English and pass literacy tests.  During the speech, the Governor spoke passionately about what he feels will be his final legacy.

“We feel the time is right to make this move," said the Governor to a crowd of uniformed officers.  "There has been much made about immigrants learning our language.  I agree that we should all speak the same language.  However, since I'm Governor, I propose we quit being pussies take it a step further.  Let's Learn German and create a heavily armed, fanatical, self-sustained military and make California the most frightening state in the union.

“Why should our Latino brethren suffer all the burden of learning a new language?  I've always wanted to learn German.  Could you imagine if I was screaming at all of you in German right now?  There might be a few of you needing to change your underpants."

The plan calls for all public schools to burn all books written in English by 2014 or face funding sanctions from the state.  Other provisions in the bill include allocating additional funding from the state’s budget to form a Compliance Police Force to ensure all regulations and best practices are being met, building concentration camps, bolstering the railway system and developing a nuclear presence.  He says the changes will strengthen the state and serve to bring people together.

“I've always hated Texas.  They're always going on and on about their guns and their steaks and Larry the fucking Cable Guy.  Let's just say that if I decide to invade them it will be nice to have everybody on the same page.”  

The bill is expected to pass when it comes up for a vote in April.  It has garnered praise from both sides of the aisle for the creative ways it addresses the cultural divide that the state faces. State Republicans say that the proposal exceeds all of their expectations for a bipartisan compromise.  

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December 20, 2016 at 3:54 AM

German is the most language that is spoken by almost 2 billion peoples around the world. Learning this language would give ones self-confidence to look the world in a different perspective. You have made to realize that in a moment on reading this article. Thanks for sharing this in here. By the way you are running a great blog.German classes in Chennai| German Courses in Chennai

February 22, 2017 at 7:49 AM

Language is the only way to communicate to others in this world. Not only learning a language would help us, one must try to adhere to the ethics followed. Thanks for submitting a wonderful content in here. This was truly useful to me. Thanks :)French Training in Chennai | French Class in Chennai

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