Fake News and Stuff

Wednesday, November 6

Man Mistakenly Given Gender Reassignment Surgery

South Dakota:  An Aberdeen area man recently went in for routine wisdom tooth removal surgery and was mistakenly given a gender reassignment.  Lester Wallace, a 32-year-old construction worker from South Dakota, was more than a little surprised when he woke to find that he was no longer a man.  The surgery took place February 24th at the Dakota Plains Surgical Center hospital in Aberdeen.

"It took some adjusting but I got used to it," said Wallace.  “It’s sort of a bother shaving my legs and sitting down to use the bathroom but I can’t complain I guess.”
Wallace now goes by the name Leslie and has recently started dating a local businessman.
“Without question, leaving my wife and kids was hard but it was the right thing to do. I’m not a lesbian.  I’ve always been very religious and I don’t think that sort of thing is right in God’s eyes.”
Maurine Jacobs, the surgeon who performed the surgery, says she’s embarrassed about the mix up.
"I'm sorry," said Jacobs, “someone apparently mixed up the charts.  I thought it was a little weird because I’ve never done that kind of surgery before. I just assumed it was something to do with hospital cutbacks.  It's not my job to question.  On a positive note, it actually turned out pretty well.  His vagina looks better than mine.”
The hospital has recently filed a lawsuit against Wallace due to unpaid medical bills.
“We are aware that the surgery was not his idea but our doctor’s time isn’t cheap.  The client basically just expects us to foot the bill for this.  If you walked into a car dealership and someone mistakenly handed you the keys to a brand new Cadillac, would you just assume the car was yours?” said a hospital representative in a statement.

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