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Wednesday, March 20

Michael Jackson Shocks Fans as he Returns to Announce 2013 Tour Plans

Washington DC-The National Bio-genetic Engineering Administration made a stunning announcement today that they have completed work on a cloned version of 80’s pop icon of Michael Jackson.  This news will certainly be welcomed by Jackson fans who never expected to see the iconic singer take the stage again.  The Jackson clone is currently in rehearsal and there is speculation he could be ready to announce tour dates as early as this summer. 

“This is not only a great day for Michael Jackson fans, this is a great day for America,” said Hans Slovnik, head of research and design at the NBEA.  “My team worked diligently on resurrecting one of the greatest performers of all time and we feel we have done a decent job.  Cloning isn’t easy and we’ve got it mostly right.  Times are tough. We knew that to continue to receive funding we had to think big.  Can you think of anything bigger than Michael Jackson?”
President Obama has been leading the way when it comes to the NBEA’s research.  In his 2012 campaign for reelection, he promised to increase funding for the research organization.  It was a controversial stance at the time because of the highly secretive nature of the NBEA.  With no information about any current projects, many felt that the money could have been better spent on bolstering the down economy.   No one imagined this research would eventually garner this type of success.  
“I have supported the NBEA since day one.  I didn’t want to be known as the sitting president when America lost one of its greatest entertainers.  He was truly a beloved, national treasure and his death left a huge hole in the American culture,” said Obama of this historic occasion.  “I’m just giving the people what they want, and what they want is the moonwalk.”
The Jackson clone was not made available for comment but is expected to speak at a press conference next week when the European tour dates are announced.  The current race of the clone has not been released.
The NBEA is the largest government funded biological research organization in the US.  Their other notable accomplishment was the introduction of genetically enhanced super mutants into the United States military in 2007.  The firm says it plans on releasing several new celebrity clones by the end of the 2014.  This list includes Gandhi, James Dean and Whitney Houston amongst others.
“We might wait to see who dies this year.  If it’s somebody good, like one of the Kardashians or Justin Bieber, we’ll get them up and entertaining us again before you know it,” said Slovnic of future plans.     

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