"All of my friends are dead and the chances I'll find someone to get it on with me are pretty slim. I'm not even sure if all the Viagra in the world would help me get it up. I'd probably shoot saw dust anyway. These last few years are a miserable waste of time.
"I was a Marine. I fought in 2 wars and protected this country in it's darkest hour. I even received a purple heart. Now I'm stuck for 16 hours a day watching a goddamn Kardashian marathon because I'm to old to get up and find the goddamn remote. Life can suck my ass."
I told him that I thought he was being dramatic and that it was fun having him around. He looked at me like he wanted to have me committed to a mental institution.
"I shit myself now. Not because I can't hold it in. I just do it to give me something to kill the boredom. Everyone else in this god forsaken hole does it so why shouldn't I? Screw it, I'm having a tequila."