Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, August 29

Elementary School Riot Sparks Concern that Students Perhaps Aren't Getting the Anti-Bullying Message

Norfolk, VA: A riot at Daniel Boone Elementary School leaves a wake of destruction as investigators work to reconstruct the events following a pep rally held in the gymnasium.

First grader Tommy "Big Shoes" Murphy said he's not sure how the riot began but saw things quickly spiral out of control.

"The school was making us sit through another pep rally against bullying. The next thing I knew we were flipping over cars and shaving the principal’s head. It was our way of showing the establishment that they don't own us."

Although no one was seriously injured, one teacher was painted blue and another is being treated for wounds after receiving a vicious wedgie. Several cars were set ablaze. Initial estimates say the property damage could be in the millions.

Third grader Mikey Holman doesn't think know how the violence escalated but says he may have been responsible for the incident that sparked the riot.

"One of the presenters said something about standing up to a bully or something like that. That's when I went up and kicked Phil in the nuts. Things sort of escalated from there. It was all fun and games until they released the dogs and the tear gas."

The National Guard was called into to restore the peace. Additional arrests are expected to stem for the incident.

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