Fake News and Stuff

Tuesday, May 16

United Nations Humanitarian Aid Shipment was Mistakenly Switched with Adult Novelties

Washington DC: Port authorities have no explanation for a mix up that left a hungry Nicaraguan village without food or medicine but overwhelmed by dildos and anal beads. Missionary workers were stunned as they opened the cargo hold and realized they had received a massive haul that was meant for a Vivid Video distributor chain.

One missionary said that the resilient people of Nicaragua were able to focus on the positives and make the best out of a terrible situation.

"At first they were all pissed off. I would be too. Some of them haven't eaten for over a month. Then they realized we had a huge shipment of everything from anal beads to cock rings.  There were dildos, big plastic fake vaginas and enough anal lube to fill a swimming pool.  We just started handing the stuff out. The mood changed quickly. They just started to orgy right there. It lasted for several hours before they all passed out in this massive, drunken pile of nude bodies. I woke up the next morning and they were all gone.

"Even after the real shipment got finally here they were nowhere to be found. That was last week and I still haven't seen them."

The United Nations is due to release a report on the incident within the next few days.

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