Fake News and Stuff

Wednesday, April 17

Heath Warning: Avoid Discount Vasectomy Procedures, Save Money Elsewhere

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Pasadena, CA: After receiving a string of complaints Pasadena city officials are warning citizens to steer clear of any group offering medical services at a discounted rate. Their ads have appeared in local magazines and on Craigslist. They promise quality medical care for people with no insurance or poor coverage and that they can save you money by not being licensed.

The Ad Reads:

Charlie Harman, a local businessman, recently received a discount vasectomy from a clinic in Burbank. As a self-employed web designer, money was tight. Medical insurance wasn’t something he felt like he could afford. It wasn’t until his wife had given birth to their 12th child in 11 years that he decided they needed to do something to resolve his high potency issues. They had already tried every type of contraception, including birth control pills, sponges, jellies, condoms, and the highly popular pull-out method. Nothing seemed to work for them. Harman eventually opted for the discounted surgery, but says he wished he would have chosen to save money elsewhere.

"I should have known better when the guy came out in a tie-dyed tank top and flip flops. He didn't wash any of his instruments or use any anesthesia. He still had blood in his hair and he smoked a clove cigarette through the whole procedure. I just figured he knew what he was doing. Not only was it extremely painful but...actually I don’t want to talk about it."

Mickey’s could not be reached for comment. If you have received any discount medical service please contact the Better Business Bureau in your area.

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