Fake News and Stuff

Tuesday, June 25

Kayne West to Conceive Child With Kim Kardashian on Pay-Per-View TV

Kayne West has a new baby and a new hit album, but he doesn't have a hit cable special. He’s hoping that changes on July 20 when he plans to knock up longtime girlfriend Kim Kardashian on a Pay-Per-View TV special – the first time people have ever been allowed to pay to watch two people conceive a child on TV.

“I’m gonna f*** the shit out of this bitch,” West rapped at a press conference announcing the groundbreaking event in Los Angeles on Tuesday.

West and Kardashian just had a daughter, named North West, on June 15, and this time they hope to have a son and the plan is to name him, you guessed it, South West.

How will this all take place?

“We’ll be in our bedroom with a camera crew, and I’ll count down from 3 and then look at Kayne and say, ‘Take me from behind me you arrogant, misogynist bastard.’ And that will be like how it happens,” Kardashian said.  "Anything for ratings."

RealTime Productions, a Seattle-based production company that is producing the special, believes that this event, which will be carried by satellite and cable providers worldwide, can gross upwards of $30 million. Proceeds will go to fund West and Kardashian’s lavish lifestyle.

“My wife likes to eat and she likes to travel the globe.  This should just about cover travel expenses.  We might need to do a second installment to cover the dinner bills,” West said.

If all goes well, West and Kardashian are open to doing this again next year.

“Look, I’ll  give this no-talent, media-whore, a meaningful railing, anywhere, any time, any place for free, let alone for millions of dollars,” West explained. “Everybody wins – and I’m not even frontin’.”

Added Kardashian, “This flamboyant prick means the world to me, so this should be must-see TV.”

No comments:

Post a Comment