Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, August 1

Man Finds Lifelike S** Doll That Looks Identical to his Wife, Files for Divorce

Little Rock, AR: It would be an understatement to say that Richard Mosby’s friends and family were taken back when he announced his intention to divorce his wife so he could marry a lifelike sex doll that he had purchased used from an online auction.  Mosby had been happily married for 5 years and things seemed to be going well.  Things would change quickly for Mosbey after he made a startling discovery while watching a television program with his older brother.

"We were watching '60 Minutes' when a story came on about something called a ‘Realdoll.’  They are these lifelike sex-bot things that look almost exactly like real people. I wasn't paying much attention until my brother said, ‘Holy shit! That looks just like Nancy.’  I had to do a doubletake.  I thought it really was her at first. The thing not only looked exactly like my wife, but its boobs were freaking huge.  I immediately went online to order one. I just wanted it as a joke to scare my wife.  Who could pass up an opportunity like that?
“It may have started as a joke but it didn't take long for me to realize that I had found a better version of my wife.  The sex-bot doesn't talk and the sex is so much better. It doesn't try to give me a high-five when she's reaching orgasm or scream things like, ‘wrong hole you asshole!’ or complain when I bring a couple of my buddies into the bed. 

“She’s also way more fun at parties.  My real wife would just sit in the corner, drinking a glass of wine and complain about how many adult movies I bought on the family credit card or some other small issue that she would blow into a huge ordeal.  My friends actually get along with the Realdoll.  So I simply removed my wife and replaced her with the sex-bot.  Problem solved.

“Granted, the sex-bot has its drawbacks.  It’s completely creepy and just stares at me all the time with it's lifeless corpse-like eyes.  Also, when I take it to the park someone always calls the police.  Some people are just too close minded to really understand.”


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