Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, July 4

Miley Cyrus Reportedly Furious MTV Nixed Planned Insertion at Last Minute

Brooklyn, NY: Miley Cyrus is voicing her displeasure with MTV executives, accusing the network of censoring her recent performance during the live broadcast of the 2013 Video Music Awards.  While many felt the performance was risqué, Cyrus says the audience only got to see half of what could have been a monumental event.

"This is an outrage.  The powers at MTV have destroyed my vision as an artist. I thought MTV was supposed to be cutting edge and provocative. I think I got away with more on that on the Disney Channel.  They acted like I was going to have a full-on orgy or do a money shot or something.  I just wanted to be penetrated a few times by one of my more thick and muscular dancers.  They act like no one is having sex or kids aren't learning about this stuff from their bus drivers. Isn't this supposed to be a free country?  The First Amendment, Hello! I might move to Canada.

"How am I supposed to generate any press with this kind of censorship?  I argued with them but they are just a pack of nicely dressed, Nazi scumbags.  They wouldn't even let Robin Thicke slide in a finger.  There are so many problems in this world, I can't believe that they'd be so concerned about what goes on at some stupid awards show.  We've got a war going on in the Middle East and this is the fight they chose.  Way to go MTV.  You should be proud." 

During the performance, Cyrus shocked the audience as she stripped down to her underwear and rubbed crotches with pop singer Robin Thicke.  Thicke says that even he was taken back by Cyrus choreography choices. 

“I feel like I've been raped. I was being grinded on by Hannah Montana. It wasn't sexy at all.  It's not like she's a bad looking young girl or anything but come on, that's Hannah Montana. My first instinct was to run off the stage and turn myself into the FBI for child endangerment.  I've taken 6 showers and I still feel dirty.”


  1. Seriously? WTF What the hell is wrong with that girl?

  2. Whores should be prevented from being slutty on public. Disgusting.

  3. She changed when she started taking cocaine. But nobody talks about that...