Fake News and Stuff

Tuesday, October 8

President Obama Applies for Unemployment During Government Shutdown

Photo BJ Berger
Washington D.C.-President Obama made a surprising move today as he formally filed for unemployment assistance in the state of Maryland.  As the government shutdown enters the 8th day the President says he has given up hope that the parties will be able to work out their differences and ratify a national budget.  He says that the shutdown has left him no other options to provide for his family.

“I’m at rock bottom,” said Obama.  “I was already living paycheck to paycheck so losing my job has been devastating.  The American people act like they are the only ones suffering.  We've been forced to eat at the soup kitchen every night.  I almost cried last week when Michelle made Ramen noodles for dinner.  She smiles and says she doesn't care and that we’ll make it through somehow but I know how she really feels, ashamed.

 “I’ve been on monster.com all week sending out resumes.  The job market is so bad I haven’t gotten many callbacks.  It’s a frustrating mess but I'm keeping my head up.  I got an interview at Lowes next week so maybe there’s still hope for turning things around.  I just wish I would have put together some kind of a backup plan just in case this whole presidency thing didn't work out. Oh well. Hindsight is 20/20."

1 comment:

  1. oBummer is a socializer. A no good communizer!