Fake News and Stuff

Friday, June 20

Fox News Anchor Megyn Kelly and Dick Cheney Exchange Insults Over Iraq War

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly took on Dick Cheney in a heated debate in her show on Wednesday.  The debate centered around a recent column by Cheney,  published in the New York Post.  The column was critical of President Obama's handling of the Iraq War, which Cheney feels like fed into the current uprising of the militant group Isis.  The debate surprised many industry insiders because of Fox New's long standing policy to blindly supporting conservative values and candidates. 

Here are some excepts from the interview:  

Kelly: You said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. You said we would be greeted as liberators. You said the insurgency was in the last throes, back in 2005. And you said after our intervention that extremists would have to 'rethink their strategy of jihad.' Now with almost $1 trillion spent there, with 4,500 American lives lost there, what do you say to those who say, "You were so wrong about so much at the expense of so many?"

Cheney: Yeah, sorry about all that.  I was pissed off at the time.  It was all pillow talk, like when you're really drunk and trying to get a girl into bed.  With a stiff dick you're liable to say anything.  We had a real hard-on for Saddam so we did what we had to.  But wait a minute, you guys made up just as much insane bullshit as we did.  Half time I'd flip on Fox News and be like, 'Goddamn. I wish I would have thought of that.' 

Kelly:  You mentioned the Status Forces Agreement and Obama has taken a lot of heat for not negotiating that...however critics point out that it was President Bush that did sign the deal that said we would get troops out by 2011.

Cheney: Bullshit and lies.  Why would Bushy do something like that?  Do you know how much Halliburton made off this war?  I was like Scrooge McDuck for awhile there?  Sure there was some collateral damage but Iraq was pure profit.  I'd do it again in a heart beat just for the oil reserves.  I'm sure you make a good living but you can't possibly imagine the kind of green I'm talking about. 

Kelly:  Do you think President Obama is Dangerous?

Cheney: Holy fuck.  Is this still Fox News?  You're really busting my balls here.  You guys usually have my back on everything so I'm not prepared for this bullshit. Glen Beck used to draw Swastikas on a chalkboard for fuck's sake.  I shot someone in the face and no one gave two shits.  Now I come on and you're riding me like a $2 Taiwanese hooker during mating season.  What gives?

Kelly: There is a new election coming up Mr. Cheney.  We need to position ourselves as moderate for now. The polls show that people forget everything.  They'll forget that we blindly supported the war.  They'll forget that we gave you and Bush our full support and lied and manipulated information to sway public opinion.  They'll only remember that we stood up for what's right when our ratings needed it most.  

Cheney:  So it's just 'fuck you Cheney and Bush' then?  

Kelly:  Pretty much.  Don't blame me.  I barely even know what's going on.  I just read the teleprompter.  

Cheney:  Well shiiiiit.

The full interview can be seen courtesy of Fox News at the link below:

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