Fake News and Stuff

Monday, June 16

Obama Set Release Thousands More Prisoners, Says 'Ye-Haw'

President Obama spoke to reporters to address the criticism his administration has received regarding the recent prisoner exchange for Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdah.  The move was a bold due to the United State's long standing policy of not negotiating with terrorists.  While some feel this exchange sets a bad precedent for future dealings with terrorists, Obama feels that the safe release of American prisoners far outweighs the possible repercussions.  He says that this is only the beginning and that Americans should expect to see more prisoners released in the near future.

"Even since I released those guys I've got people all over the world sending me emails trying to trade stuff to get their friends and associates out of prison.  Some of it is pretty good stuff.  One guy offer me his entire collection of Vintage Bob Marley Concert shirts to let his serial rapist uncle out of prison in Kentucky.  Who could I say no to that?  It would take me forever to find those on the internet.  Yeah, releasing those five dangerous terrorists was only the beginning for sure.

"So send in your trade offers.  I'm willing to make some deals.  For the rapists and serial killers you might need to bring something substantial to the table but anything is possible.  I'm willing to wheel and deal here.

"The good news is, by the time this is all said and done, you won't have any time to worry about a few angry terrorists a billion miles away.  There's going to be far worse people crawling in your bedroom window.  It'll be like the Frontier West but worse because I've taken away all your guns.
"Can I get a ye-haw?!"

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