President Obama has decided to look to the private sector for alternatives. Some of these alternatives seem unorthodox but the President has stated his case clearly:
"Look, it's a complicated situation. Security is a very important concept; One that Ronald Reagan took very seriously." After about 4 minutes of mentioning names of other Republicans, in a clearly futile attempt to win over a segment of the population still convinced that he is a Communist Muslin from Kenya, he got to the point.
"I've been thinking of perhaps hiring nightclub bouncers. They are extremely adept at preventing people with knives from entering establishments. And let's not forget about WalMart door greeters. No one is better at sniffing a rat than someone who greets WalMart shoppers for a living. The beauty of it all, is they both lack integrity and work for just above minimum wage!"
President Obama then mentioned something about having to go because Michelle was back, and abruptly hung up. We have been trying to reach the President's press secretary, Robert Gibbs without success. Gibbs did text us saying he was unavailable for a call because he had already reached his talk time minutes, which have been reduced due to federal recent budget cuts.