Fake News and Stuff

Tuesday, June 16

Rachel Dolezal: 'How in the Hell was I supposed to Know I was White?'


Salt Lake City, Utah: Rachel Dolezal recently sat down for an exclusive interview with Outhouse Daily to address the wave of backlash that has caused her to resign from her position with the NAACP. She feels that people are not being fair in their criticism of her character, and says that she would never have purposely misrepresented herself

"This was an honest mistake. I've got curly hair and I tan easy. How was I supposed to know what race I am? Do I look like a genealogist to you? It's not like I walk around all day checking my DNA. Only an idiot would lie about something like that and expect not to get caught."

She went on to say that she feels that she's being unfairly targeted because she was once identified as a women of African American decent. 

"Even if I was lying, this is an outrage. This is America, I can be any damn race I want. It's the 28th Amendment. This is oppression in the highest form, and it's everything I have fought so hard against.One day last year, after I smoked a bunch of pot, I thought I was Chinese for like an entire week. Nobody said a damn thing to me. All of the sudden this is some huge deal."

Dolezal says that she doesn't know what her future holds, but says she can still make a difference in the community to improve racial relations. 

"Becoming white again has really been an eye opening experience. I got like 100 pre-approved credit cards and Banana Republic coupons in the mail, the next day. Now that I've found out I'm white there seem to be all kinds of avenues open to me. I just applied at the Ku Klux Klan. I've got experience in the racial relations field, so it's a move that makes sense."

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