Fake News and Stuff

Friday, June 2

In Wake of His Announcement on Paris Accord Trump Calls for Creation of National Pollution Day

Washington DC- President Donald Trump made a celebratory round of interviews this Thursday in the wake of his historic announcement that he would be pulling the United States out a the Paris Accord. To commemorate to decision, President Trump is calling for bipartisan support for the creation of a national holiday, National Pollution Day.

"This is a huge win for corporate America. They are no longer burdened with all the regulations that have been slightly cutting into their profits for far to long. They are free to pollute once again. This is a message to the world that America will not rest until there's lead paint on every way and radiation in every stream."

Trump says that he wants to ensure that all Americans remember the struggles of the past as they build the bridges of tomorrow.

"This day will be a reminder that every American must due their part. Throwing down a piece of litter or driving a car with an unregulated diesel engine might not seem like a big deal, but if we start small, this world can one day be a beautiful festering shit-hole that we can be proud to pass on to our children. One day, when the thick black smog is filling your lungs, you will look back on this day with great pride and remember that you were part of something tremendous."

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