Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, June 1

Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh Have Bloody Fist Fight to Decide Who's More Right Wing

Photo by Gage Skidmore
New York, NY: It was a shocking scene for the customers at NoBu restaurant over Saturday as conservative talk show hosts Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh had an altercation that looked like a scene out an old Western movie. Witnesses say the spat started after a brief argument about their views on the direction of the country. The bloody fight escalated quickly, injuring many and sending others scrambling for the exits.

Video emerged of both men on the street in front of the night club, covered in blood after an altercation occurred during a discussion about the direction of the country. 

"You don't even have any idea about reducing government spending or shrinking governmental oversight," Hannity screamed while throttling Limbaugh to the ground. "Obama lover!"

"Why don't you pop Hillary Clinton's nipple out of your mouth you liberal swine?"  Limbaugh rebutted while attacking Hannity with a steak knife. "Snowflake dickhead!"

"You've got some many black friends he might as well be a communist," Hannity is heard yelling while slamming a chopstick through Limbaugh's right hand. "And don't spin that like I'm a racist you liberal prick. Just because I believe that rich white Americans are better than all other races and nationalities doesn't mean I'm a racist." 

"You Prius driving peace loving cocksucker."

"You whale watching, civil rights advocate asshole."

"You weed loving baby killing dickhead." 

"Why don't you just grow your hair down to your ass and make love to Al Gore."

Both men are receiving treatment for head trauma and are expected to make a full recovery. 

Photo By Nicolas Shayko

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