Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, June 1

Trump Budgets $752 Million for White House Renovations to 'Make the Hellhole Livable'

Washington DC: President Donald Trump released his budget recommendations today for consideration by the Senate. The plan, if approved by Congress, includes a reduction in Medicare and other government supported programs, while allocating $752 million for White Renovations. In a prepared statement the President stressed that White House renovations are long overdue and will serve to cut additional long-term costs.

"This is actually a cost saving measure. It will cut down on the many, many vacations I'm forced to take because that place is a dump. If you want me to work in an office that still smells like Nixon's balls, then you better pony up for some golden toilets."

The President states that the renovations are long overdue since the White house has fallen into such disrepair.

"I could be asking for a lot more you know. This hellhole doesn't even have a gold course on the roof. Would you live in a place like that? This isn't Bosnia."

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