Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, June 1

Trump on Russian Probe: 'I'm Probably Not Guilty of Anything'

Washington DC: President Trump held a brief, impromptu news conference to address the growing speculation regarding his campaign's ties to Russia during the election. Trump again asserted his innocence while citing what he feels is a witch hunt stemming from unfair media coverage.

"I'm probably not guilty of anything. How the hell am I supposed to know? Do I look like a lawyer to you? I'm the President not Perry Mason.You guys are making this huge deal out of it. Just let me get back to my tweets and leave me the hell alone already."

When pressed about his possible ties to Russia, President Trump again appeared to be visibly frustrated. He says that despite the speculation about possible collusion, the media is still is off the mark when it comes to the real issue.  

"Look, this whole thing is stupid, just like the 'laws' I allegedly broke. I can assure you, if I did break any laws they certainly weren't the good ones. They seemed like ones Obama probably wrote just so he could seem cool in front of his friends. It's all nonsense."

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