Fake News and Stuff

Thursday, November 2

Hillary Clinton 'I Probably Wouldn't Have Sucked as Bad as Trump'

New York, NY: Hillary Clinton has been in the news recently as she's been making media rounds to promote her knew book What Happened. She recently sat down with Trevor Noah on the Daily Show to discuss everything from the election to the current political climate. Not surprisingly, she feels that she could have taken the country in a better direction if the election would have turned out differently.

"I think people just really misjudged my level of shitiness. Sure, maybe people would have been looking at the future as a dark road of broken dreams and empty promises, but at least there'd be a future. The way things are going now I wouldn't be surprised if we were all covered in nuclear dust and acid rain by this time next year. I can almost guarantee I wouldn't have done that."

Clinton went on to say that she feels that the reason for her defeat was that average people just didn't connect with her campaign message.

"I would have sucked, we can all agree on that, but I can almost guarantee I would have at least made it at least a year or two before being impeached. I could have fit some high quality governing into that window. This administration is a joke."

President Trump responded via Twitter almost immediately following the interview.

"Hillary Clinton could have ended all of this suffering for me if she just would have been even remotely likable. Now I'm stuck in this miserable, shit-hole of a job for the next four years. I've 'known' Russian prostitutes that suck less than you. Sad!"

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